BRAVERY
Been a while since got back from travels (November explore) and have had the chance to process everything including the energy buzz, making me want to go again! Received some lovely comments when played and many were surprised at how far I had travelled alone, with most saying how brave I am.
Really? I suppose so, but didn’t believe it or want to see it that way. Wonder why? Is it due to not having done it all till now? Maybe it is because I still feel nervous, but am more accepting of it, focusing on just getting there, not all the little details that can’t fully anticipate anyway. Maybe certain things previously done, like travel and working at festivals, stays at hostels, all the open mic nights and gigs organised, played or seen have helped me become more used to it all.
Overall it was a wonderful experience, seeing huge buildings in big cities, cosy cafes down the hidden paths, alongside some amazing history and of course brilliant open mic nights. Yet this said there is stuff missed out, even with shared pictures/ posts across the webs, we do forget what’s behind the scenes. For example, I avoided motorways, networking at certain pubs/ venues later on at night, busking (even though guitar broke a good excuse) or getting an outdoor live clip done. Then there’s the driving, deciding which event to go to, feeling older than those around (wishing done it years ago), complications and expenses with parking or bus choice, location and or room change, event timing confusion and just being tired. All of which takes processing, followed by performing adrenaline which then crashes and adding to further rest needed, but don’t go out of ones way to share that view of it. Or even acknowledge it as it becomes a normal. So does this mean in certain ways I am brave as determined to face stuff my way, yet still too focused on what didn’t do or could have done.
This all said, what has changed is my understanding of perception and am finally willing to admit difficulties even just to myself, seeing individual steps over the daunting leap and avoiding all. Ignoring worries and negative news as when get there, it is different to imagined anyway. Ok sometimes, something doesn’t go to plan, but can always try again (I will definitely get clips and/or busk next time). All the gained experience and knowledge, over putting it off till tomorrow has helped so yeah I therefore have become braver and need to finally believe that. So really there is something we all must do and that is pat ourselves on the back more often, even the small things. Whats okay for one is harder for another, so maybe we are all braver in different ways than realise or acknowlege?
Thanks for reading!
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